The Adventures of Baby Arthur

by Liz

As with all new parents, one of the biggest challenges we've faced is sleep: lack of sleep for us and getting Arthur to sleep for himself! Everyone knows that the first 3 months of any newborn's life consists of bi-hourly wake-up calls 24 hours a day. This is not a myth. I wish I could say that the challenge ends after 3 months, but the challenge has continued even through today at 15 months of age! Anyway, I was pretty much a zombie for the first 3 months of Arthur's life. During those nightly feedings, sometimes I would think to myself that somewhere out there, there's another mom that's awake with me… which really did not make me feel any better!

I was desperate for a sleep solution, especially because I knew that I had to be functional for my eventual return to work... and I NEED a good night's sleep to be functional! At Arthur's 2 month visit with our pediatrician, Dr. Frenchy discussed the topic of sleep training with us. The sleep training method basically involves letting your precious little one "cry it out". This method is otherwise known as "Ferberizing". Dr. Frenchy basically said: "Once you are ready for his bed time, put him in his crib and don’t open the door until 7am the next morning – even if he cries. After 3 – 4 nights, he will be a sleeping through the night like an angel." He also mentioned that this method works for roughly 95% of his patients. He was very straight forward and matter of fact about the whole thing. I had a gazillion questions in my head, but I was mostly shocked. Does this really work??

Lincoln and I were both lukewarm to this idea as it seemed a bit cruel and unusual to the both of us. At the time, Arthur was just a helpless looking 2 month old! Both of us felt uncomfortable with this, but I knew that something had to be done. I asked a ton of moms for advice, read articles, blogs and went through the pros and cons for about a month. I finally decided to give it a try a week before my maternity leave was up.

The first night's attempt was a miserable failure. After letting Arthur cry it out for maybe 30 minutes, Lincoln and I could not bear it any longer and we ran in to this bedroom. By now, the crankiness and exhaustion from my sleep deprivation was reaching a fever pitch. Lincoln and I finally reached a breaking point with a massive argument... He wasn't talking to me, I was miserable, Arthur was crying, and seemingly by default, it became "the night". Arthur cried for about 2 hours, and it felt like the worst night of my life. I cried with my eyes glued to the baby monitor the entire time!

Lincoln and I made up by the morning (I don't even remember what we argued about anymore!) and things took a turn for the better. Arthur cried a little less than the night before and by the 3rd night, he pretty much slept through the entire night all on his own! We were THRILLED! It worked!

Arthur has been a good little sleeper ever since (for the most part). Sometimes we would watch him in amazement through the baby monitor, as he quietly and happily played in his crib before going to sleep. However, as I mentioned in the beginning of the post, the challenges have been ongoing. While we have had to "re-train" him 2 or 3 times since the first time, none was ever as bad as the first time. Events like an exciting day, a mental breakthrough, teething, or any other similar change could disrupt his sleeping. In fact, as I write this, I am exhausted! We've had a tough weekend sleeping and the NYC Saturday night noise did not help at all!

All in all, I'd have to say that sleep training worked for us and I would do it again. Research seems to point in the direction that set bedtimes are beneficial. I love my son tremendously, but I also believe that in order for me to be a good mom, I need to be happy and functional. In addition, a rested Arthur is a happy Arthur!

Labels: parenting, sleep