The Adventures of Baby Arthur

by Lincoln

This past weekend, we met up with some extended family for dim-sum (Chinese brunch) to spend some time, catch up, and let the kids play around a bit. It was really great to catch up with everyone and observe the different personalities running around the restaurant!

The future of our extended family was on display and it brought back memories of how me and my cousins were the same way once. Also in attendance was Jordan, the original front-baby of GuessYourBaby.com!

He's a big boy now and he even has a little sister, Juanita, who is also a big girl now too! I still crack up when I see Jordan holding that bat with the sinister grin on his face.

The great thing about these kinds of gatherings is that it really gives us a chance to talk with trusted family about parenting. Liz and I had been thinking about sending Arthur to a daycare / preschool and we had a chance to speak at length about this topic with Jordan's parents, Karl and Kandi.

Surprisingly, this whole thing was my Mom's idea. Arthur's development seems to be progressing very well. He's very curious and he seems to be as social as a 16-month old boy can be. Whenever we take him out, he is drawn to other children and he even tries to talk (babble) to them! As my mother spends two days a week with him, she has been feeling that Arthur may need more stimulation and group activities to usher him along and further develop his social skills. She also felt that Arthur was getting bored of the same books and toys and it was starting to become more difficult to keep him interested without him whining for TV. It's tough to keep a toddler entertained! Liz had also floated the idea around to other mothers and they seemed to think that a day-care situation would be a good idea, even if it was only for several days a week. On top of all this, we thought it would be a good idea to give the Grandmas a break once in awhile.

So we took a look at a local preschool called Love A Lot Preschool. Liz had heard good things about it, so she made an appointment for us to go check it out. Of course, the first question I asked before even going was: "How much is it?" She refused to tell me! After a few minutes of incessant badgering, she finally relented and said: "about $900 per month." I was aghast right away as she explained that the $900 wasn't even for a full-time program! Anyway, the day of the appointment came along, she peeled my butt off the couch and off we went with Arthur in tow.

My first impression was good. The gates were locked and there were uniformed security guards. The woman who gave us the tour seemed to know what she was talking about as she explained the curriculum and their philosophies. The entire program is be run like a school with classes focused on early development (colors, shapes, alphabet, numbers, exercise etc.) and the children would be constantly monitored in their development by trained experts to identify any problems. As we walked around the facility, everything seemed to be orderly and put together. They had special bathroom facilities designed for children, a gym, and nameplated cubbies for each child. The ratio of teachers to children appeared to be a healthy 1 to 3 (we were promised at most 1 to 5) and the children in the classes we observed seemed to be well engaged. According to school, 75% of their "graduates" continue into "gifted" kindergarten. (Whatever that's supposed to mean!!)

Arthur had a blast as he swiftly ambled up and down the hallways, barged into classrooms and even tried to muscle his way into the 3-year old yoga class. It seemed like he approved of the place! As for me, I did like the idea of having trained professionals overseeing my child. As rookie parents, we wouldn't necessarily know if something was wrong. For example, one of the things I am paying most attention to is Arthur's speech development. While he seems to be doing just fine, one of the services the school provides is facilitating speech therapy if it is required with costs covered by the state.

Naturally, there was ONE SPOT left in Arthur's age group. The $900 per month fee was actually more like $1600 per month and we were encouraged to make a quick decision.

Sixteen hundred dollars per month. That's $19,200 per year. That's nearly as much as my college tuition was! As I began to work out our finances in my mind, the panic really started to set in. I remember when I was young and single, I used to scoff at those crazy parents who were sending their kids to $10,000 per year preschools as if they were trying to engineer themselves the next John F. Kennedy. Now here I was, thinking about sending Arthur to a preschool that cost double that amount!

So what was Karl and Kandi's take? They did send both Jordan and Juanita to a daycare/preschool for the same reasons that Liz and I are thinking of. Only they sent their children to Stillwell Prep in Brooklyn for a mere $380 per month! They had nothing but great things to say about the Stillwell Prep and they raved about how both Jordan and Juanita had such a great learning experience. Juanita, who has just entered kindergarten, is miles ahead of her school's curriculum. I glanced over at Liz and we telegraphically agreed: "Maybe it's time to move to Brooklyn!" Though I doubt DUMBO would be much better (as in, cheaper!).

What's the big deal about preschool anyway? Is it really worth it? According to this CBS News piece, preschools of today are more then about playtime and napping with a focus on education and it is recommended to develop a child's social skills. However, according to this UC Berkeley study, a family's social status impacts the effects and benefits of preschool in that children from lower-income families show greater improvement versus those of middle-class white families, whom showed diminished benefits. Alarmingly, the report also states children who are sent to pre-school too early show a slower pace of social development. Well that would defeat the entire purpose wouldn't it!

So Liz looked to the BabyCenter Community for some additional opinions on what other parents thought on the matter. A whopping 84-percent of respondents (48 out of 57) did not agree with sending their children to an expensive preschool. The opinions varied from extremely against ("GAH!!! NO NO NO. Never.") to moderately against ("Find someplace cheaper"). Others made some valid suggestions on lower alternatives, such as library, community center and even local high school programs for toddlers. Not surprisingly, those from Manhattan were not surprised and some were paying the money. Overall, the consensus was that preschool is not necessarily a requirement and that we could do just as well at home. That's aside from the conclusion that Manhattan is RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE!

The search goes on and we haven't reached a conclusion yet. But between his grandparents, extended family, friends, us and of course the BabyCenter Community, Arthur is in good hands.

Labels: parenting