The Adventures of Baby Arthur

I'll be upfront: I'll be damned if Arthur turns into a spoiled brat. As the weeks go by, Arthur is gradually turning into a little boy before our very eyes. With that has come defiance and assertiveness. You may find this strange, but I actually find it pretty exciting. Our little boy is starting to communicate with us! We've read the books and have been practicing the advice of Dr. Frenchy and Dr. Karp and trying to teach Arthur to deal with frustration. I think it's been going pretty well so far. Arthur definitely gets mad (like right now, literally!) when he doesn't get this way and he does throw tantrums, but he gets over it. We've been making sure to act non-chalantly when he throws tantrums, giving him timeouts when he acts inappropriately, and teaching him patience by making him wait. We also have him a on a schedule for napping, eating and bedtime so he doesn't get overwhelmed everyday. Whether or not any of this makes a difference remains to be seen. I hope I'll be blogging soon about how Arthur has so wonderfully skipped passed the terrible twos!

Now while I think Arthur is doing fine, I do pay attention to the parenting styles of others and how their children react and behave. Sometimes I am amazed at what I see, like that gigantic kid at the Gymboree who knows how to say "bubbles", knows how to step into his own shoes and is the same age as Arthur. It's ok, he's a whiner otherwise. (*snicker*)

I have been observing a pair of parents who follow a much sterner "old school" approach than we do. Which means they yell, scold and sometimes even slap on the wrist. This approach began when their kid was only 5 or 6 months old. Even though this approach is not our style, I could not overlook the results as their son is definitely pretty mature for his age. By 12 months or so, he was listening to instructions ("Get out of the kitchen!") and stepping into his pants. Pretty impressive! When I wondered out loud about the merits of this approach to Liz, an extremely fervent and loud tongue lashing ensued and I nearly had to sleep on the couch. Well that was the end of that!

No, I don't think I believe in scolding and disciplining at such a young age. I've only yelled at Arthur once, which was when he knocked over his bowl of cereal, milk and all, all over the floor, my pants, my shirt.. you get the picture! My reaction was delayed from shock, but a sonic booming NOOOOOOO slipped out of my mouth! Anyway, at 16 months, I think Arthur has only just begun to really realize what's going on around him. I mean, what's the point of yelling at a 6 month old? Or even a 12 month old? It's not like he has any idea of what's going on anyway! According to this article from CNN, studies show that spanking infants and toddlers can have long lasting, detrimental effects. Children who are spanked as 1-year olds were more likely to be more aggressive as 2-year olds and children at that age do not cognitively understand the difference between right and wrong. This article highlighted what Liz and I have believed all along. Even more alarming is this study that suggests that spanking can lower a child's IQ. (Thanks to Parentdish for pointing it out)

Anyway, Liz and I are in agreement that there will be no reason to spank or even loudly scold in the near future. We'll worry about the big-boy issues later, but we'll dish out lots of love for now! Liz has even gone so far to avoid the word "no" altogether to reduce negativity. I find that hilarious. Is there a difference between saying "don't do that" and "no"? Sorry Liz, I'll get ready for another tongue lashing now.