The Adventures of Baby Arthur

by Lincoln



If we had to pick a favorite "Arthur first", the first taste of solid food would rank up near the top. Let's face it, a baby's reaction to first tastes can be priceless! (Above: That really is Arthur's first solid food experience, and he did NOT like his applesauce!) And I'll never forget how his face turned so red after trying a taste of Chana Saag! I didn't think it was that spicy! But, entertainment value aside, Liz and I love to eat and I enjoy cooking as a hobby. Food and mealtime is an important part of our family life, so once Arthur was able to eat some good solid food, we were excited.

We started Arthur on solid food at precisely 6 months of age after Dr. Frenchy gave us his dissertation on solid foods:

Dr. Frenchy: "Just let him eat what you eat. And then he won't be a picky eater later on, trust me."

Us: "Wait, eat what we eat? He doesn't really have teeth, do you mean blend up whatever we're eating?"

Dr. Frenchy: "Yeah, do that."

Us: "How about Congee? It's like porridge, it's a rice dish."

Dr. Frenchy: "(Angrily) Just let him eat what YOU eat!!"

OK, so the exchange didn't quite happen exactly that way. Dr. Frenchy didn't know what Congee was and mistook it for the baby rice cereal, which is the kind of special "baby food stuff" he meant for us to avoid. Dr. Frenchy's approach to allergies was also a bit different. His position was to: 1) Let the baby try whatever the food is. 2) If he has a reaction, then stop feeding him it. 3) Try again later to see if he reacts the same way. If he does, then he's probably allergic.

We 100% bought into Dr. Frenchy's philosophy. It made a lot of sense to me. I've never avoided eating anything in my entire life and I have no known allergies. When I was in the 5th grade, I was diagnosed by a pediatrician to be allergic to just about everything! I mean he said I was allergic to tea, grass, and a whole slew of other things that I don't even remember. Even at that young age, I laughed it off and completely disregarded the doctor's orders. My mom surprisingly went along with this and I ended up fine. You could say that it's not my philosophy to coddle. I think a little fun in the mud with the germs can go a long way too. And here was a doctor that agreed with me!

Arthur has never eaten a bite of baby food in his entire life. It's not like we didn't try (organic with all natural ingredients of course), he wouldn't eat it! At first we gave him a heavy diet of Congee made with a variety of different meat and vegetable combinations. As time went on and he grew more teeth, we would blend up whatever we were eating. By about 12 months, he was eating his food "nearly" as-is (also an exciting day!). Nearly meaning we would still dice up the meats and serve him softer foods that he wouldn't have trouble chewing. However, the blender was out!

Through it all, I would only serve him food that I would personally eat. I would put the same seasonings that I would put in my own food, despite the objections of Grandma, who firmly believes that children shouldn't eat anything with flavor! I've been fighting Grandma on that one. Although I wasn't able to fight off the meal of oatmeal mixed with eggs (YUCK!!), overall, Arthur has been eating what we eat as Dr. Frenchy ordered. Besides, he has already figured out how to SPIT out whatever he doesn't like!

His top favorites:

-Porridge with pork and frozen vegetables
-Steamed flounder with ginger and scallion with white rice (True to a Chinese baby, Arthur LOVES rice)
-Yams
-Sweet Corn - he cannot get enough of it. He literally will grab the corn and not let it go.

There doesn't seem to be a heck of a lot of actual research on whether or not certain types of foods should be emphasized or avoided. You can find "expert advice" on spicy foods and guides for making baby food. The American Academy of Pediatrics does provide guidance on certain types of foods (that not all pediatricians agree with!). Many seem to think that rice cereal is the best first solid food (To the chagrin of Dr. Frenchy!). But I think there is evidence, even if it's anecdotal, that the guidance on baby food is mostly driven by culture. I've heard from friends and TV of Korean and South Asian children eating super-hot food from a very young age!

Regardless, Arthur has proved to be a really great eater with an excellent appetite. Luckily, we haven't encountered any food allergies either. I look forward to the day that we can go out for nice juicy porterhouse!

Labels: feeding, food, parenting

by Lincoln

It recently became known to me that September 13, 2009 was Grandparent's Day. The existence of this day was unbeknownst to me, as I spent the entire day watching football. Shame on me! Had I known, I would have saved that post for a different day.

Grandparent's day isn't quite a hallmark holiday yet but it is one I could get behind. Where would we be without our parents? Thanks to my parents and Liz's mom, our childcare situation has been completely taken care of. We haven't had to use any local daycare, find a nanny on sites like Nannies4hire.com, Care.com, or Sittercity.com, or employ any kind of outside help. Not only has it been a tremendous savings financially, it's been a great relief to have trusted family members oversee Arthur's well-being and development. There's no doubt that the excitement of the first grandchild on both sides of the family has added to the enthusiasm and attention that Arthur has gotten. But, knowing these grandparents, it wouldn't have mattered if he was the first or the tenth grandchild. All would be loved just the same!

On our last post about Sleep Training, Liz briefly mentioned that we very recently had an extremely difficult night with sleep. For some reason or another, Arthur began waking up at 3am that Saturday morning. Despite our attempts to calm him down and get him back to sleep, he wouldn't stay asleep. The loud party noise emanating from the building behind us and the stupid *expletive* drunk people ringing our door buzzer from downstairs did not help, as they would wake up Arthur just when he was about to fall back asleep! By 4am, I flew downstairs in a fit of rage and chased the drunkards away. By 5am, we had given up trying to get him to sleep in his crib and brought him into bed with us. By 6am, Arthur was stepping on my face because he wanted to go the living room and play. By 7am, I trudged out to McDonald's to pick up a pick-me-up with some breakfast and coffee. By 8am, Liz and I were out of gas and trying to keep up!

By 9am, Liz's Mom came to the rescue by showing up unexpectedly and unannounced. Liz and I manage a 2 hour life-saving nap!

We have many similar stories where our parents have helped us out tremendously. I've said it once and I'll say it again: I've never loved my parents in the way that I do today, now that I have my own child. And I've never loved Liz's Mom before either! Three cheers to Arthur's grandparents and all grandparents around the world. We'd be lost without you!

Labels: family, miscellaneous

by Liz

As with all new parents, one of the biggest challenges we've faced is sleep: lack of sleep for us and getting Arthur to sleep for himself! Everyone knows that the first 3 months of any newborn's life consists of bi-hourly wake-up calls 24 hours a day. This is not a myth. I wish I could say that the challenge ends after 3 months, but the challenge has continued even through today at 15 months of age! Anyway, I was pretty much a zombie for the first 3 months of Arthur's life. During those nightly feedings, sometimes I would think to myself that somewhere out there, there's another mom that's awake with me… which really did not make me feel any better!

I was desperate for a sleep solution, especially because I knew that I had to be functional for my eventual return to work... and I NEED a good night's sleep to be functional! At Arthur's 2 month visit with our pediatrician, Dr. Frenchy discussed the topic of sleep training with us. The sleep training method basically involves letting your precious little one "cry it out". This method is otherwise known as "Ferberizing". Dr. Frenchy basically said: "Once you are ready for his bed time, put him in his crib and don’t open the door until 7am the next morning – even if he cries. After 3 – 4 nights, he will be a sleeping through the night like an angel." He also mentioned that this method works for roughly 95% of his patients. He was very straight forward and matter of fact about the whole thing. I had a gazillion questions in my head, but I was mostly shocked. Does this really work??

Lincoln and I were both lukewarm to this idea as it seemed a bit cruel and unusual to the both of us. At the time, Arthur was just a helpless looking 2 month old! Both of us felt uncomfortable with this, but I knew that something had to be done. I asked a ton of moms for advice, read articles, blogs and went through the pros and cons for about a month. I finally decided to give it a try a week before my maternity leave was up.

The first night's attempt was a miserable failure. After letting Arthur cry it out for maybe 30 minutes, Lincoln and I could not bear it any longer and we ran in to this bedroom. By now, the crankiness and exhaustion from my sleep deprivation was reaching a fever pitch. Lincoln and I finally reached a breaking point with a massive argument... He wasn't talking to me, I was miserable, Arthur was crying, and seemingly by default, it became "the night". Arthur cried for about 2 hours, and it felt like the worst night of my life. I cried with my eyes glued to the baby monitor the entire time!

Lincoln and I made up by the morning (I don't even remember what we argued about anymore!) and things took a turn for the better. Arthur cried a little less than the night before and by the 3rd night, he pretty much slept through the entire night all on his own! We were THRILLED! It worked!

Arthur has been a good little sleeper ever since (for the most part). Sometimes we would watch him in amazement through the baby monitor, as he quietly and happily played in his crib before going to sleep. However, as I mentioned in the beginning of the post, the challenges have been ongoing. While we have had to "re-train" him 2 or 3 times since the first time, none was ever as bad as the first time. Events like an exciting day, a mental breakthrough, teething, or any other similar change could disrupt his sleeping. In fact, as I write this, I am exhausted! We've had a tough weekend sleeping and the NYC Saturday night noise did not help at all!

All in all, I'd have to say that sleep training worked for us and I would do it again. Research seems to point in the direction that set bedtimes are beneficial. I love my son tremendously, but I also believe that in order for me to be a good mom, I need to be happy and functional. In addition, a rested Arthur is a happy Arthur!

Labels: parenting, sleep

by Lincoln

After writing the post about Paco the Fish, I felt a little guilty... maybe I was being a bit insensitive about Paco. OK, so maybe I felt guilty for about 30 seconds. After I came across an blog post on ParentDish about a school that was planning to slaughter a pet lamb to sell the meat, I found myself in full fledged meat activist mode! I love to eat all kinds of meat and I am not ashamed to admit it. (Sorry PETA!)

As a proud meat eater, it would be easy to write off these PETA types as having too much time on their hands. However, I can respect their views because I believe our disagreement is largely cultural. We live in a "I'll take my meat only if it's wrapped in cellophane with nary a thought of where it comes from" type of society. Yes, this may be the same society that I was born and raised in, but with immigrant parents, I've spent many summers in the 3rd world and witnessed enough chicken slaughtering, whole pig roasting, fish cleaning, snake gutting and frog skinning to recognize good food while it's still alive! Actually, you can see all of that for yourself in Chinatown too. (Well, maybe not the snakes.)

It's not like I can't relate with the poor children who are about to have their pet lamb for dinner. When I was about 8 years old, my aunt bought two cute little duck chicks. All of the kids thought they were pets and we all treated them as such. The elders never discouraged our attachment either. As time passed, the ducks grew bigger and the elders finally unveiled their sinister plans to roast the ducks for dinner. All of the kids were livid and no amount of begging had any effect! In the end, we all refused to eat a single bite.

While this may have been an upsetting experience for me at the time, one of the memories that has stuck with me throughout the years is the golden, crispy looking skin and the succulent aroma that floated out of the oven when I stole a peak in. As the elders ate, they only half heartedly asked if I would try some because the roast duck they were eating was probably the best roast duck EVER!!

Yes, I agree that the Lydd Primary School teachers could have been more sensitive and not encouraged the children to treat the lamb like a pet. However, at the end of the day, people come first and we homo-sapiens are happily on top of the food chain. Meat comes from animals.

I believe we can respect life on this earth while also doing what we need to do, like eat!

PS: That's a link to the complete of works of James Herriott, which I really enjoyed. It's a story about a country veterinarian in England. Animals, both farm and pet, are respected within the cycle of life.

Labels: miscellaneous

by Lincoln

Football is back! I am a guilty, obsessed NFL football fan who's Sundays are fully booked for the next 4 months. That's right, I am commissioner of 2 different fantasy football leagues and this year, I am "managing" five different fantasy teams. This may be a fact that I shouldn't be proud of but I've got to be me! For opening weekend, we had a few friends and family over and two TVs running side by side with my NFL Ticket subscription on for a solid ten hours.

That's ten hours of viewing pleasure for everyone in the room, including Arthur. GULP! I've read no shortage of articles sermonizing the ill effects of excessive television for children and others with tips on how to control it. They say that too much TV will cause your kid to develop Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). The American Academy of Pediatrics officially recommends no more than 2 hours of TV a day.

While the general consensus is that it's a good idea to avoid excessive TV, there may not have been enough studies done for toddlers. A study by the Children's Hospital of Boston states that TV viewing before the age of 2 has no cognitive benefit OR detriment. Of course, this also means that all of those educational programs that we limit Arthur's TV watching to are useless.

There is no doubt that Arthur is eerily drawn to the television. When it's on, his eyes are glued. He knows what the remote control does and he often picks it up and points it to the TV, sometimes even shrieking to tell us that he wants it on. He loves Sesame Street and even knows he can watch it on the laptop too. It's clearly an amazing source of stimulation for him, but what's running through his mind when he watches? Is he zoning out into auto-pilot? Is he absorbing?

Picking which expert to believe and follow is always a challenge. If you Google long enough, you can find any answer you want. No matter what anyone says, Arthur can now identify Elmo, Big Bird and Cookie Monster when we ask him to. To us, that was an exciting development and it has got to be a good thing.

Before Arthur came along, we always had the TV on as background noise whether or not we were actually watching it. We've tried with decent success to curb this habit once Arthur came along. But I lapse, especially on those early mornings when I just want 30 more minutes of sleep!

It's going to be close to impossible for me to give up football Sunday. It's a drug and I can't get enough. Today, Liz took Arthur out to the park for an hour or two while the games were on. Moira, See-fut, Wylie and other friends and family were also over, so Arthur had people to play with instead of zoning out and staring at the TV. I guess we'll just have to make Sunday an event to keep his attention elsewhere!

Labels: parenting

by Lincoln

We didn't have any travel plans over the long Labor Day weekend so we spent it at home and around town. We took this opportunity to spend an afternoon with Moira, See-Fut and Wylie right over the bridge in Brooklyn in an area called DUMBO. The name has nothing to do with the elephant and it actually stands for "Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass". I used to spend a bit of time in the Brooklyn Heights area years ago and sometimes down in DUMBO. Boy, have things changed down there! DUMBO is now teeming with life and has surprisingly become quite a family oriented area.

We started off by visiting Brooklyn Bridge Park. The park itself is still years away from being finished, but it already has a lot to offer. The riverside park his home to one of the largest kiddie playgrounds around and the playing complex is appropriately shaped like a boat. Following the mariner theme, there is also a sandbox shaped like a rowboat and a kiddie fountain as well. The park also has a large grass picnic area a seasonal weekly farmers market by Community Markets. Best of all are the breathe-taking and pervasive views of the Manhattan skyline.

The DUMBO area also offers many restaurants, including the famous River Cafe and Grimaldi's pizzeria. I think Grimaldi's may serve the best pizza in NYC. Hundreds of other agreed with me on this day, as the line literally wrapped around the block! Before heading back home we stopped by Rice for a snack. Perhaps the best feature of this restaurant was the connection to Speak Up, which is a really nice garden patio bar for relaxing outdoor drinking. (We saved the drinking for another time!)

While the food itself was probably a bit too vegetarian for my taste, what struck me the most was the number of strollers, families and children of all ages at the place. This was no anomaly, as the waitstaff was prepared for this clientele. They quickly offered us a high chair, straws and a plastic cup for Arthur to drink his water. The final icing on the cake was the group of two young and fresh twenty something females that walked in. They took one look inside the joint and told the host "there are just way too many babies in here, sorry!".

I'd venture to guess that the recent real estate boom ushered in a new population of young families. This isn't a surprise as DUMBO seems like a real great place to live!

In Other News... Shang NYC

It was also Grandma's birthday, so for the occasion, we took her to an extra fancy Chinese meal at Shang NYC. If you clicked on the link, it took you straight to the dessert menu! That's because while the food was perfectly decent, the best part was the dessert BY FAR. We had the warm chocolate cake, fresh mango panacotta and house made fresh sorbet. All were perfectly made and devoured quickly. There aren't many eaters that are pickier than my mom and she gave it a glowing approval by saying that she "hadn't had such a great dessert in quite some time". Here's the gold star for Pastry Chef Melissa Chang for making my mom's birthday dinner a success!

However, since this is a blog about babies, I will mention that we took the first reservation of the evening by design. They don't offer high chairs and probably wouldn't be the most kid friendly establishment when they are busy! Nevertheless, Shang gets my vote!

Labels: nyc

OK, guilty as charged. I never took a picture of Paco the Fighting Fish before his demise.

---

Liz Says: Fun-loving Aunt Wilma buys Arthur a fish on this 1st birthday as a present!
Lincoln Says: Annoying sister buys us a PET without consulting first! GRRRR!

Liz Says: Yes, Lincoln refuses to take care of Paco, therefore it defaults to Liz's responsibility, which I took seriously....
Lincoln Says: Hell no, I'm not taking care of this fish. I'm leaving this to Liz. Hmm.. has she ever had a fish before? This should be fun.

Liz Says: However, I neglected to replenish the de-cholorination conditioner (oops).
Lincoln Says: My money is on that she never bothered to buy more de-chlorination conditioner.

Liz Says: I notice Paco to be "sleepy" lately. Finally, poor Paco passes on.
Lincoln Says: You know, even Arthur plotted Paco's demise and nearly succeeded on several occasions. I'm just glad we have a mop.

Liz Says: I tell Arthur he is sleeping but Lincoln screams from the next room, He's not sleeping, he's DEAD! Point taken, I back track and say, Paco has moved on, he's gone, he's left the building.
Lincoln Says: Are we STILL talking about Paco??

Liz Says: We have a private funeral service in the Yue-Song bathroom.
Lincoln Says: In typical female fashion, Liz instructs me to dispose the carcass. Of course I forget, leaving the dirty deed to Liz's Mom the next day, who unceremoniously flushes Paco down the toilet while we are at work.

Liz Says: Arthur notices the empty tank and he points to it and screams - AHHH!
Lincoln Says: What kind of name is Paco anyway? It's not like it matters anyway, since Arthur doesn't even know it's a fish.

Liz Says: Paco is in fish heaven!
Lincoln Says: Paco is dead.

Aunt Wilma Says:

Paco touched our lives on Arthur's 1st bday...It was a grey, stormy, rainy day. Through all the water changes, random feedings and Arthur's failed attempts to knock Paco out of his tank, Paco brought smiles and laughter to all those who knew him. May he always live in our hearts and memories.........We love you Paco.

Dear Paco, if you are somewhere out there in fish heaven listening, I will play in the football pool this year in honor of your memory...please give me lots of luck and I promise to donate a part of the winnings to a huge a$$ bottle of dechlorination fluid.

---

PS: We are not cruel inhumane people. I swear! Arthur - it's important to value life on this planet.

Your favorite dish to date is also steamed flounder on white rice.

Labels: miscellaneous

by Lincoln



This is as good a time as any for me to write down my thoughts about this book because three of my friends are expecting!

I'll start off by saying that this was by far the best book I've read about parenting at the infant stage. I consider this book mandatory reading and tell everyone I know that is expecting to read it. I've already lent out my copy to several people.

Before Arthur was born, I had no idea how to deal with infants and I worried about it all the time while Liz was pregnant. I feared the loud shrieking baby and the helpless feeling of not knowing what to do. I'm not exaggerating when I say this book made it all better. It's a good read from start to finish with plenty of anecdotes, historical references and cultural solutions from across the globe. Dr. Karp provides a very specific technique for calming infants down. It worked for Arthur 99% of the time and EVERYONE, including my mom and Liz's mom, was extremely impressed and even puzzled at my magic touch.

Here are some of the main points you'll learn about:

• Trigger your crying infant's calming reflex by applying the 5 S's. Fathers will have to skip the last "S". :)
• Dr. Karp theorizes that babies are born a trimester too soon, which explains why they are so helpless and need us to trigger the calming reflex when the world becomes too overwhelming.
• Dr. Karp also theorizes on colick and how it's rare as an actual medical condition. Some cultures have no colick!
• Click Here for more excerpts direct from the official website.

The techniques in this book worked for us for the first 3 months or so. After that, it was a whole new ball game! It's amazing how kids change everyday.

Sometimes I wonder if Arthur was such a well-behaved infant because of the techniques we used or if it was because Arthur is just a great kid (Which means we're just plain lucky!!). Anyway, I swear by this book. Give it a shot!

Labels: books, parenting