The Adventures of Baby Arthur

by Lincoln

My cousin Noliz asked me the other day if he could borrow Arthur... to pick up chicks. Heck, I was offering my friend Pedro that chance a day after Arthur was born! What better way to get attention from the opposite sex than a cute cuddly baby? Any single guy knows that right?!

While the last thing on my mind has been to attract attention to myself, for the last 18 months, the attention has nonetheless been nearly non-stop while transiting Arthur from place to place. These days it's not as much, but it was surreal when Arthur was less than 6 months old. The stares, the awws and the cooing was incessant on the street, on the subway, on the bus, in the restaurant and every other public place we went to. Women of all ages, shapes and sizes were striking up conversations with me. That sexy 21-year old coed that wouldn't normally pay me any mind would first smile at Arthur and then make eye contact with yours truly! Oh wait, is that Liz standing next to me?

It wasn't just the single women. Nice old couples who's children were probably all grown up would strike up conversation. Other parents with children of their own would ask how old Arthur is. The worst time was when I couldn't tell what gender another parent's baby was.. "How old is... yours?" And somehow, they always seem to know Arthur's name without an introduction. Are they eavesdropping on my one-way conversation?!

Honestly, I've never gotten used to the attention. Normally, I'm a stare at the ground, listen to the i-Pod and walk from point A to point B as quickly as possible kind of guy. I don't normally talk to people on the street. Does that make me a typical New Yorker?!

Anyway, carrying a baby around definitely brings the wrong kind of attention. It is absolutely not going to help anyone pick up anything. Noliz, Pedro, if you need a wingman, get a puppy! As for all you gushing singles ladies, MAKE YOUR OWN!!

Labels: fatherhood

10:01 PM