The Adventures of Baby Arthur

by Lincoln

The stars aligned today. No Grandmas were available and Liz couldn't take off. As for me, I luckily have an understanding client so I was able to call out. So it was just Me and Arthur today! Though I'm not sure how, this was actually first time I've had the baby all to myself for such a long period of time. You would think it should have happened many times by now, but somehow it hasn't! I guess I'm one lucky guy!

7 a.m.: Liz says to me, "You took off today right?" Oops.

At this point I'm thinking to myself, "Who says I can't take care of my boy! To hell with them!" This is not a joke. You could say Liz has gone to some lengths to shield me away from solo child-care duties. I know she's just trying to be nice, but at some level, I'm sure she doesn't trust me! She then offered to call her Mom up to come over, but I wouldn't have it. (What was that? Babysitting a 19-month old is exhausting? Whatever! Bring it on!)

8:00 am: I take this opportunity to take a quick shower and start on Arthur's breakfast while Liz is still around. Scrambled eggs and mushrooms, toast, apple slices and milk.

8:30 am: Liz departs. Du du du dummm.... Arthur doesn't care too much for the eggs but eats the toast and apples. Too bad little man, no more food 'til lunch!

9:30 am: After cleaning up and spending a little time reading with Arthur, my phone starts to ring. It's the office (and other clients!). Within minutes, I have two laptops running, a slow cumbersome vpn connection open and emails to reply to. All of this is happening while Arthur is sitting on the couch, happily causing mayhem by throwing whatever he can find on the ground. Somehow, I get my emails out, documents sent and whatever was needed done! Well, I think so anyway.. I guess I'll find out tomorrow!

10:30 am: Arthur falls asleep. I figure this is a good time to start on his lunch: Mac & Cheese. Now I'm thinking about how Liz scarcely bothers to cook whenever she's taking care of the kid! (She relies on takeout and whatever food was pre-made for her in the fridge!) Granted, she doesn't cook anyway, but I'm gonna one-up her by making Mac & Cheese... from scratch!

11:00 am: Arthur awakens, but he's not rested enough, and is very cranky. To make matters worse, I'm not done with the lunch prep. Now I have a clingy toddler in one arm while the other is finishing off the Mac & Cheese. Pride carries me through and the Mac & Cheese goes into the oven.

11:30am: Arthur will not allow me to put him down! Now I'm thinking about how my Mom never puts him down to sleep. I'd always tell her to just put him down. She'd always say, "He needs to be held! I can't put him down, no time to do anything else!" Well I'll be damned if I end up giving in! Somehow, I manage to trick Arthur by holding him until he falls asleep, setting him down with my arm behind his neck until this body warms up the bed a bit, and slipping out. I should patent this technique!

1:00 pm: Arthur awakens, but is still groggy. However, I decide he's had enough sleep and I show him his lunch, which piques is interest because he's ready to eat! Unfortunately, the Mac & Cheese overcooked while I was discovering my patented sleep move. Oh well, we eat it anyway.

2:00-4:00pm: My strategy now is to wear Arthur out. I take him to the park and I make him walk! I boldly leave the stroller at home. We go to Whole Foods. Now I'm thinking about how Liz always complains that it's awfully hard to grocery shop or otherwise run errands with Arthur. PFFT!!! Not only am I going to buy groceries, I'm going to stop by the YMCA to check out their toddler programs!

Perhaps, I bit off more than I could chew. I ended up with a 25 lb toddler in one arm and what felt like a 40 lb bag full of groceries in the other, as a result of a clearly overzealous shopping operation. I briefly consider taking a cab home, but I don't give in! We go to the YMCA, where Arthur does some stairs. We struggle back home on foot.. and Arthur, like a good little trooper, does his fair share of walking. Sure it was only a block or two, but good enough for a toddler! I give Arthur a treat for being trooper.. a cookie and juice. (Sorry Liz!)

5:30pm-6:30pm: Time to cook dinner for Arthur. Now I'm thinking about how my Mom always makes my Dad come over while she cooks dinner because she can't manage to do it while Arthur is around. She's worried he'll somehow hurt himself, or get burned if he hangs out in the kitchen, or something other. I'll be damned! Not only do I let Arthur into the kitchen while the stove is running, I let him play with the pots and pans on the floor. Amazingly, he puts them back when he's done. I have no idea where he got that from! Dinner is served (Beef, corn and macaroni, yes from the same box used at lunch!), and he's hungry!

7:00pm: Liz's brother shows up out of the blue. Which is helpful, as I can quickly finish the chores while he watches the baby. Then I give Arthur his bath.

8:00pm: By now I'm feeling pretty.. exhausted. Man, where's Liz?!? (Liz had a business dinner to go to)

8:30pm: Liz arrives home. Hallelujah! She puts him to bed at 9pm. (Actually, she's still trying to put him to bed.. I think Arthur had too much activity today and he's having trouble sleeping. Oops.)

Anyway, Take That Liz! Daddy and Arthur did just fine by themselves! Yeah fine, I'll admit it, it's pretty darn tiring and I'm glad you do it more than I do!! Now call your mom back!! *smirk*

PS: Liz's mom is a machine. She has Arthur marching to a strict regimented schedule and she can probably lift more than I can! She fearlessly hauls baby, stroller and all associated bags or groceries etc. up the stairs in one fell swoop. While Arthur sleeps, she swiftly cleans the entire apartment, floors, sinks, bathrooms, kitchen, everything! I think she does too much, but man... what can I say??

PS2: No Mom, this is not a criticism. I think you are wonderful with Arthur and we couldn't do without you.

PS3: Take THAT Liz!!!! See previous posts for your compliments!

PS4: Just kidding Liz, You're a wonderful mother and you do an amazing job! *snicker*

Labels: fatherhood