The Adventures of Baby Arthur

by Lincoln



The truth is, I read this book too early. I started reading it when Arthur was around 10 months old and I think he just wasn't ready for most of the techniques in this book. They would work here and there, but I think it was mostly because Arthur was amused at the way I was acting!

Anyway, things have taken a turn in the last few days (He is now 19 months old). At dinner time, Arthur is often struggling to grab and eat out of the family plate. While Grandpa may find this amusing as he pushes the family plate closer, this is not the kind of dining etiquette Liz and I find acceptable. Nevertheless, dinner would sometimes become a struggle as Arthur would ignore his own plate, grab at anything else on the table, and on occasion, end up in a time-out amidst a full-blown tantrum.

So about 3 days ago, I gave the "Fast Food Rule" a try:

As Arthur was struggling to get at the family plate..

Lincoln: Arthur wants more? Arthur wants more?
Arthur: MMMMM.. (nodding yes)
Lincoln: But Arthur has some right there! (pointing to Arthur's bowl)
Arthur: Looks down, sees he DOES have some of what he wants and starts eating it!

This was no fluke! It has worked every time since the first! Therefore, I am commemorating Dr. Karp's genius by writing about it on my 50th blog post (Gongs Crashing!).

The dominant message of the book is communication. Toddlers are like "cavemen" and they need to be "civilized" by us, parents! But to do that, we need to be ambassadors and communicate in a way our toddlers can understand. The Fast Food Rule is about verbalizing what your toddler wants first, so he can see that you understand what he wants. Afterwards, it's your turn to tell him what you want! This also applies to adults doesn't it? When you need to vent, sometimes all you need is someone to listen, empathize and understand how you feel.

The book goes through numerous other techniques for amusing, understanding and communicating with your toddler. It talks about positive reinforcement, "time-ins", acting like a "boob" and much more. Many of these things do not come naturally to me, so having a book like this to point them out is very helpful.

OK, so I only made it through 75% of this book. This read is a bit tougher than Happiest Baby, in that the techniques are not quite as straight forward. Toddlers are tough! It took a bit of time to absorb the material, but the book is well written with good anecdotes. And like I said above, I think I read it too early!

Nevertheless, the message was delivered and I can personally vouch that it works. I'll probably pick the book up and finish it off.. or I'll just get the DVD!

Click here to find out more about the book.

PS: One of my friends, who borrowed my copy of The Happiest Baby, purchased the DVD for his wife so she wouldn't have to read the book. While he vouched for the techniques, he mentioned that Dr. Karp was quite an interesting character in person!

Labels: books, parenting

by Lincoln

During our last visit to Dr. Frenchy, he saw it fit to screen Arthur, now 19 months, for some early signs of autism. Liz was handed a fancy touch tablet that asked her a series of questions. While Arthur was happily fiddling with some toys on the floor, Liz was asked questions like:

• Does he respond when you call his name? (Usually, Though it sometimes requires high pitched squealing.)
• Does he make eye contact? (In addition to the head butting)
• Does he look in the direction of what you point to? (Only when he wants to!)
• Does he try involve you with his activities? (This kid will not do without a playmate, like ever... Liz is at his beck and call.)
• Does he point to things and try to get your attention? (Happily with a "ooh!")
• Does he wander aimlessly without purpose? (I don't think so, as evidenced by the sudden rash of dissapearing remote controls!)
• Can he point to his own body parts? (Proudly! Size doesn't matter!)
• Does he babble? (If we only knew what is running through his mind...)
• Does he follow objects? (Hide his blankie at your own peril!)

Happily, the results of the quiz were positive. Thankfully, Liz and I have never had any reason to fret about autism either. Dr. Frenchy normally asks us general questions about Arthur's progress during every appointment and i'm sure he's been looking for signs of it for quite some time.

Here are additional resources on signs of autism and some more information on tests for autism.

Labels: health

by Lincoln

My cousin Noliz asked me the other day if he could borrow Arthur... to pick up chicks. Heck, I was offering my friend Pedro that chance a day after Arthur was born! What better way to get attention from the opposite sex than a cute cuddly baby? Any single guy knows that right?!

While the last thing on my mind has been to attract attention to myself, for the last 18 months, the attention has nonetheless been nearly non-stop while transiting Arthur from place to place. These days it's not as much, but it was surreal when Arthur was less than 6 months old. The stares, the awws and the cooing was incessant on the street, on the subway, on the bus, in the restaurant and every other public place we went to. Women of all ages, shapes and sizes were striking up conversations with me. That sexy 21-year old coed that wouldn't normally pay me any mind would first smile at Arthur and then make eye contact with yours truly! Oh wait, is that Liz standing next to me?

It wasn't just the single women. Nice old couples who's children were probably all grown up would strike up conversation. Other parents with children of their own would ask how old Arthur is. The worst time was when I couldn't tell what gender another parent's baby was.. "How old is... yours?" And somehow, they always seem to know Arthur's name without an introduction. Are they eavesdropping on my one-way conversation?!

Honestly, I've never gotten used to the attention. Normally, I'm a stare at the ground, listen to the i-Pod and walk from point A to point B as quickly as possible kind of guy. I don't normally talk to people on the street. Does that make me a typical New Yorker?!

Anyway, carrying a baby around definitely brings the wrong kind of attention. It is absolutely not going to help anyone pick up anything. Noliz, Pedro, if you need a wingman, get a puppy! As for all you gushing singles ladies, MAKE YOUR OWN!!

Labels: fatherhood

by Lincoln

Happy New Year Everyone!

I'd like to report that Arthur has crossed another level of cuteness. For the past week he's been charming everyone in sight, saying more words, interacting with anyone around him, laughing at everything and eating like a bottom-less pit. He even charmed the unflappable Dr. Frenchy today. While Dr. Frenchy was applying the stethoscope, Arthur was fascinated with instrument, grabbing at it the entire time. When the exam was done and the stethoscope was hanging from Dr. Frenchy's neck, he continued to grab for it, placing it back on his chest. Lollipop? No thanks.. Stethoscope please! Dr. Frenchy was so enchanted he said, "Wow! Isn't that amazing?", followed by a kiss on the head. Then he quickly applied his shots and looked at the ceiling as if nothing was going on. Not a single sob was wailed from Arthur's mouth. Two amazing events in the span of 2 minutes! I'm just glad Arthur is braver than me when it comes to needles!

Arthur has been in quite an unusually good mood lately. It's almost as if he's extra happy.. like the kind of happiness you feel when you've been given perspective. Maybe it is, because the last three weeks has not been rosy.

The week before Christmas Day, Arthur came down with something.. and it was no normal cold. The first night, he vomited unexpectedly several times. We checked his temperature and sure enough, there was a slight fever. For the next two days, Arthur seemed a bit uncomfortable, but he was still acting normally for the most part. The fever on the other hand, seemed to go up and down with nap-time. We kept up with Motrin and he seemed to get passed whatever had.

But the vomiting returned and Arthur's mood worsened. He had trouble keeping his food down and whatever he did manage to eat seemed to irritate his tongue and throat. To make matters worse, a strange milky-like patch appeared on his gums. We never did figure out what it was, but I suspect it may have been thrush. (Though this could not be confirmed at Dr. Frenchy's office) Our visit to Dr. Frenchy's office (We didn't get to see him personally) was not too comforting either. Their advice was to keep a look out in case the fever returned. Otherwise, Arthur would have to just ride it out. The onset of a second fever they said, may indicate an escalation of the sickness. (Like pneumonia)

We all tried to do whatever we could to help Arthur eat. I tried making him some Banana Yogurt shakes (recommended treatment if he did have thrush), but he only ate it once. A steady diet of Congee was not too appetizing to him either. None of his favorite foods would do the trick. He barely drank any water, though he did accept milk. We thought he may have been dehydrated and he developed diarrhea as well. We tried giving him a mixture of ginger ale and water or Gatorade as recommended to restore his minerals, but he didn't seem to enjoy that much either.

The sniffles, cough and phlegm inevitably followed and our poor boy was just miserable. He just couldn't be put down and essentially had to be carried at all times. We limited his bath time to every other day to try to keep him comfortable (he did NOT want to be in the bath at all), but when we did bathe him, he had visibly lost weight. He was always pale and he wasn't sleeping well through the night either (and neither were we). This all went on for a week, it was just a terrible.

Christmas Day came along and Arthur still was not feeling very well, but we decided to attend my family function anyway. Arthur never left Liz's side and he wasn't sociable like he normally is. Clearly, he was not 100%. But the worst part was the endless stream of judgemental, huffy advice that poor Liz had to endure from my family. Like a pack of wolves, they pounced. How could we not be giving Arthur medicine? We MUST change doctors! Dr. Frenchy is no good! Blah blah blah.

I was spared the wrath of the wolf pack but Liz's confidence was shaken. Nevertheless, we agreed that we would stay the course and that we both believe in Dr. Frenchy. I just told Liz to ignore those animals! I'm no doctor and I don't know if one has to do with another, but the children of one of those mothers (my cousins) suffer from terrible allergies. Did too much medicine at a young age make a difference? Maybe they were shielded from germs too much? I don't know.. but I am 100% in agreement with Dr. Frenchy's methods and as far as I'm concerned, Arthur's present health is his vindication!

The next day at Liz's family gathering was a bit better. Arthur was not recovered, but his spirits were slightly improved. From then on, he showed improvement everyday moving forward and by the time the New Year's Day came, Arthur was back!

Everyone was relieved and his recovery brought upon a voracious appetite the likes of which no one has ever seen! Arthur was grabbing his bowl, shovelling his macaroni down, and asking for seconds. He's been consuming whole buns of bread, raisins, cherrios, bowls of rice and coming back 5 minutes later to ask for more! He's making up for 2 weeks of not eating!

As for Liz, with relief came the crash.. on the Saturday morning following New Year's Day:

Liz (trying to take a nap with Arthur): shh-shh
Arthur: aaahhhhh
Liz: shhhhhhhhh
Arthur: aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!
Liz: Go to daddy.

(silence)

aahhhhh!!!

(silence)

aaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!

After the second aaaaahhh, I went to investigate. Liz had locked Arthur out of the bedroom! I guess she needed some well-deserved sleep!



By the time Great-Grandma's 90th came along, mischief was back in style!

Labels: arthur, parenting